Up From The Ashes

***This one is dedicated to women who have been abused at the hand of a 'lover'***

I’m broken

A pile of mass soaked in salt ridden droplets

And stained in a crimson hue

Fetally I lay

Cheeks caressing concrete

...How did I get here?...

Gasping for rhythmic breathing

My swollen eyes blink like humming bird wings

But I can’t see the forest for the tears

My black was once beautiful

My blue added torture

My reds now mix with salt

Silent screams summon my will back

But silent screams on deaf ears

Result in deafening silence

Delicately marrying the cool concrete

With the fullness of my back

I roll to see the morning sun peek through a hole in the curtain

...It’s not even 8:30...

Are you still here?

Why would you be?

You’ve already stolen me

Stealing parts from me that

I didn’t even know were up for grabs

Clawed way past my breasts and thighs

To the one thing that I held dear

TRUST

And I trusted that you would treat me like with dignity

And not like slave-time property

Dammit I was your woman!

...But never mind that...

The fluorescents wreak havoc on my pupils

The cool water soothes my wounds

I’m a bag of emotions spilled carelessly on hardwood and linoleum

...Who dares stare at me in this state?!...

A familiar face

But I dunno who it is

Suddenly 2 eyes meet 2 eyes

And the 4 eyes connect dots

That once were lines

And for the first time in a long time

I see.....me?

A me I can’t even begin to recognize

A me that is battered and dejected

Seemingly beyond repair

...I never knew a human lip could get so fat...

Starring through me to me I see

Multi coloured skin atop a skeletal core

That forgot what human life is worth

The corners of lips

Have been turned down for so long

They know my feet more than my eyes

And in that instant I begin to mourn

Because I know the spirited me has been murdered

At the hand of a man

All in the name of LOVE

...It’s the first time I’ve seen a living corpse...

Starring through myself to myself

Is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do

...How did I get here?...

...How did I get here?...

...How did I get here?...

And in that moment I felt the lights intensify

As if 10,000 light bulbs illuminated over my head

OUT....GET THE FUCK OUT!

In that instant one plus one equals one

When the old me took the other me by the shoulders

And reminded me of the me that once was

A me that was goal driven and motivated to succeed

A me that was lively and beautiful from the upper to the core

A me that was alluring and magnetic

...I`ve just seen two funerals in one day...

Self actualization could possibly be the best gift a woman could give herself!

I’ve  burned the ‘memory’ of the other me

Because that was not how I envisioned life to be

And up from those ashes I emerged stronger and finally free

From those ashes new life was born...

And with those ashes I walked through the door.

The Inner Circle

This has been on my mind for a while now.  You know, ever since I've started my business (Socially Yours - branding and social media marketing -- sociallyyours.ca -- check it out....tell a friend! *wink* haha) I've encountered a lot and I mean A LOT of nay-sayers and negative people along the way. 

I'd tell someone about the idea with excitement and vigour only to hear: "Why don't you just get a full time job somewhere?" or "Is that going to make any money?" or "Hmmm good luck with that" (with a heavy dose of sarcasm). "How are you going to support yourself like that?"

And at first, to be honest, I thought well maybe they're right....I have a ton of responsibility and I need to be "rational". So I did it...I went out and looked for a job...I got an interview and my heart wasn't in it at all! I didn't want the job (mind you I need to make money) but I just knew in my heart that it wasn't for me.  Needless to say when I got the call telling me I didn't get the job I did a little happy dance because to me that was my confirmation that I needed to press forward with my dreams. 

And it got me thinking.  Why do some people insist on pulling others down?  Is it because they have dreams of their own that they are too scared to pursue?  Or is it that don't believe in themselves so there is NO WAY they can believe in anyone else?  

It was then I realized that you can't rely on everyone to support you....that’s why you need an inner circle.  Your Inner Circle is a group of people who are supportive and reassuring and forward thinkers who genuinely believe in you and therefore will believe in what you do.  They know who you are and what you stand for and therefore can be a voice of reason.

Now please don't misunderstand what I'm saying!  I am by no means saying that you need to surround yourself with 'yes (wo)men' who will agree with any old thing you say, but you NEED to surround yourself with people who will say " if you're bold enough to believe...count me in."

The reason I say that you don't need a bunch of nodding heads is that there are times when an idea needs a dose of reality to ensure that you're on the right path, but, those in your Inner Circle know how to keep you in check without crushing your dreams.  They want to see you successful so they make sure that you are always doing your best!

And it's not that those who seem to be 'against' you are inherently evil people...they can be the nicest of people, BUT their hearts just aren't in a position to help you.   They always have a negative outlook on life, or they always try to make their problems seem bigger, badder, more intense that yours.  Most times they don't mean to be that way, but the reality is that they are.  Rest assured that you don't have to accept it.

You really need to evaluate (and consistently re-evaluate because people do change....) the people you have closest to you...the ones you talk to and text constantly, the ones you sit with at lunch, the ones you Facebook and twitter often.  Do they encourage you?  or do they only tell you what you can't do?  do they help build you up? or consistently tear you down? Are they energy suckers?  (You know, the ones who ALWAYS expect you to fix each and every single problem in their life.)  Or do they breathe life into you with encouraging words and actions?

The more time you spend on ‘them’ the less you have for yourself....you only have a certain amount of energy to spend each day....don’t waste time/energy  on people who won't make you better.  

And to those who aren't with you, please don't be afraid to show them the door.  Let's face it, you can't move forward, if you are constantly spending energy on convincing people that you or your ideas are good enough....you'll never get ahead! 

Keep in mind that you may have to be the one to make a change....be it taking a different route, or eating lunch with different colleagues, or staying off of Facebook (or other) chat or whatever you need to do to stop the cycle of negativity....and it while it may be an inconvenience, isn't that a little better than having to justify yourself at every turn???

I’m working on my Inner Circle which I need more now than ever!  I’m happy with the people who are around me so far and I'm looking forward to adding new and inspiring people to my Inner Circle.

Maybe it's time you take inventory of those closest to you and make sure your surrounded by the best...that way you'll be your best too! 

.....as always.....comment.....discuss.....let's start a dialogue.....peace n blessingz.....

13 Years Old On Facebook??? I don't think so!

Oh Zuckerburg what will you come up with next?

I personally don't think that children13 and under should be allowed on facebook.  It's a bit much!  I thought the whole point of keeping children off Facebook was to protect them from stalkers, child molesters and other such scum of society???  Now I realize that there are probably tons of underagers on Facebook (this wouldn't be the first instance of underage activity right?) But at least this way someone is being (or at least should be) held accountable for for the actions of this minors.  there is a lot of responsibility thtat is attached to being online.  and I son't think that 13 year olds understand the implications of such activity.  for example, there is a geo-tagging feature that is attached to many smart phone that allows your location to be posted for the world to see.  Can you image a 12 year old posting..."Crap!  Took the wrong bus and I'm lost!" I can see the predators lining up waiting to grab a hold of that unsuspecting child.  or what about a post like "Rocking out to the Biebs on full blast cuz the rents are gone!" Suddenly the doorbell rings and the rest isn't pretty.  Now I know these may be seem a tad on the extreme side but are they really????

Lets not forget to talk about all the bullying.  We've seen too many instances in recent history  that involve online bullying and harassment.   This is just another avenue for kids to be attacked and harassed by hurtful people both young and old.

Let's face it....adults have a hard enough time dealing with the goings on of the Facebook world....how do you expect a minor to do it as well?

A friend (@mikeselfdestructs said it best...Zuckerburg is trying to tap into that last market that Facebook hasn't cornered (paraphrased).

I think we need to let kids be kids and not allow/force them to grow up too fast. Get them outside and enjoy soccer games, and ballet and all the other things that life has to offer.....they have the rest of their lives to be on Facebook!

What are your thoughts?

....as always....comment.....discuss.....let's start a dialogue.....peace n blessingz....

There's Just Something About A Black Woman

There was an article  published in a 'professional' magazine that had a study 'justifying' why Black women are the less attractive than other races.  As a response I decided to post a poem that I wrote that outlines that beauty of Black Women around the globe.  


...enjoy...


There's Just Something About A Black Woman


Nothing against any other creed, colour or race
Or any other person from any other place 
But they just do not possess her grace
There’s just something about a Black woman

She is the definition of strength
Both in character and in truth
It surely is not in the pudding, it’s all in the proof
There’s just something about a Black woman

When she walks through a door time seems to freeze
Gliding through, each step with ease
Men who watch her get weak in the knees
There’s just something about a Black woman

There is something about her sweet full lips
With healing power in each kiss
And that slight sexy switch when she moves her hips
There’s just something about a Black woman

And each foot has walked a mile
Worn and bruised from treacherous trials
But on her face an enormous smile
There’s just something about a Black woman

She sticks to your ribs when times aren’t so good
And rejoices with you in the moments she should
Doesn’t matter if she’s from Wall Street or any street in your hood
There’s just something about a Black woman

She has a sense of style that is unmatched
Will get her hair did and leave that light bill for last
But will drop that last $20 just to hold on to the gas
There’s just something about a Black woman

She can turn $5.00 into a 5 course meal for 6
Can turn 2 matchsticks into a palace
Can dry up tears with a sweet embrace
There’s just something about a Black woman

She has the strength of an ox with the tenderness of a kitten
Will go to the ends of the earth for you if she’s smitten
She knows the greatest chapter in her life has yet to be written
There’s just something about a Black woman


So the next time you have a Black woman in your presence
Be sure to hold her and let her know that you in essence
Appreciate her standards of complete excellence
There’s just something about a Black woman

Love all the Black women around you!



.....as always...comment...discuss.....let's start a dialogue.....peace n blessingz........

Metafor Clothing – a brand with a purpose

Metafor Clothing (which stands for Mastering our Exixtence (spelled wrong intentionally) Through Achievements while not Forgetting Our Rights, Race or Religion) is one of the newest clothing lines to hit the scene.  And you are probably thinking: “So what? What makes them different from the other dozens clothing lines that emerged this month?”

The reason is simple.  Metafor Clothing is a brand with a purpose.


Our countries, states, cities, neighbourhoods, communities and even streets are filled with children who are being raised in less than ideal circumstances including living in impoverished neighbourhoods, experiencing a lack of food and water or even clothes on their backs.   These children deserve nothing but the best, but when they have to struggle from day to day to do the things we take for granted; survival becomes their only method of existence.  Unfortunately, this existence propels the vicious cycle of delinquency and many become statistics.

The cycle has to end somewhere.  You can help make that happen.

Metafor Clothing (a division of Metafor Enterprises LLC) aims to help children grow and flourish in the midst the struggles of growing up in conditions that are beyond their control.   Metafor Clothing is fashionable, affordable and helps to change the course of the lives of the youth today.

Proceeds from every item Metafor Clothing sells goes directly to Meta4Lfye which is a non profit organization whose goal is to help kids manage their exixtence.  Meta4Lyfe will fund programs that will help the youth learn study skills, writing skills, analytical thought skills, money management and so much more.  These programs will help keep the next generation of young people off the streets and out of jail cells and into the boardrooms and corner offices (with a view).

Supporting Metafor Clothing does more than just give you something to wear.

It is helping to sow a seed of success in the lives of children who more than deserve a chance at the best that life has to offer. It allows them to dream big and therefore be bigger than their circumstances; big enough to be the next world changers, policy makers, CEOs and Presidents.

For about $20 you can look good and feel good about doing a little something to make this world a better place.

For more information or to help make a difference please visit http://metaforclothing.bigcartel.com/

*** Limited time only...15% off with PROMO CODE: METAFOR***

*all italicizes bits are from http://metaforclothing.bigcartel.com/about-metafor

Let there be cake!

After my first bite I was hooked!  There was just something about that rich velvety chocolaty deliciousness that they call Red Velvet that sends my taste buds into another dimension of flavour.  Why was this cake so different???  I had no clue.....all I knew was that I had to figure out how it was done!  So I began my search on the internet....only to find only about a gazillion recipes out there.....all with slight variations.  So I tried out a few recipes....some were terrible others amazing.  But I've found the recipe that works best for me.  I like my Red Velvet with Cream Cheese Icing over the white icing....but that's just me.

I've made them for my daughter's 2nd birthday - she hated them but the adults LOVED em!

Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Icing

And I made a Red Velvet cake for my classmates to celebrate the year we spent together....(it was my first time writing on a cake!) 

Red Velvet Cake for my PR Class of 2011

 Here's the 'winning' recipe!  Feel free to give it a go!

Red Velvet Cake:

1/2 cup butter

1 1/2 cup sugar

2 eggs

2 Tbp (heaping) cocoa

1/4 cup red food colouring

1 tsp vanilla

1 cup buttermilk

2 1/4 cup cake flour

1/2 tsp salt

1 Tbp white vinegar

1 tsp baking soda

preheat oven at 350 degrees

1. Cream butter and sugar together til 'fluffy'

2. Add eggs

3. Make a paste with the food colouring and cocoa and add to the creamed mixture

4. Add vanilla

5. Add buttermilk and sifted flour and salt alternating between the two

6. In a separate bowl add baking soda to the vinegar (as you will remember from grade school science -- IT FOAMS! so choose a not so small bowl)

7. Blend (rather than beat) the soda/vinegar mixture to the batter

for cupcakes --> bake for about 20 mins or until a toothpick poked in the center comes out clean or when you touch the top...they 'bounce' back

for cakes --> bake for 25-30 mins or until a toothpick poked in the center comes out clean or when you touch the top...it 'bounces' back

I used a homemade cream cheese icing on the cupcakes and a store bought (I was feeling a tad lazy) icing for the grad cake......mind you I regret using the store bought stuff.......the homemade version tastes WAAAAYYYYYYYY better! 

For the cream cheese icing I used on the cupcakes....the trick to making pipe-able cream cheese icing is to start with COLD cream cheese and no over mixing!

Cream Cheese Icing

250g cream cheese (COLD)

1/2 cup unsalted butter (Room temperature)
1-2 tsp vanilla (use less if you're not a huge vanilla fan)
2 1/2 cups powdered sugar


1. Start with COLD cream cheese and combine with room temperature butter

2. Add vanila 

3. Sift in powdered sugar gradually 

4. Mix until smooth (DO NOT OVER MIX!)

Then feel free to pipe your lil heart out! :)

Good luck and happy baking!

Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are

This journey called life is not easy but I couldn’t have taken a step without you by my side.

The journey of a thousand miles begins but with one step or so they say....but I say the journey of a thousand miles begins with a thousand voices of encouragement.

You just don’t realize how much the youtube videos or funny memories or clever status’ literally dry the tears from my eyes and shift my day into one of amazing energy.

To those of you who encourage me, love me, take a few seconds out of your day to say and find out how I am....I appreciate you.

Whether I’ve known you for weeks, months or years the impact you’ve made on my life will never be forgotten.

They say you can’t pick your family so pick your friends wisely....and I am beyond blessed to have some of the best friends a girl could ever ask for.

If someone had sat me down and showed me my life now, then, I wouldn’t have believed them....there are so many of you that I admire and aspire to be like...

Sometimes I like dwelling in the shadows of my friends to look up to them in awe of the amazing person they are secretly wishing to emulate their greatness...then there are times when I would rather walk side by side conquering the world together.

You have laughed with me, cried with me, smiled with me and supported me.  I truly appreciate your friendship and I couldn't have asked for better friends!

Someone told me recently how impressed they are with the circle of positivity I’ve enclosed myself with and after taking stock I have to agree....never before have I had such an amazing group of people that I am able to truly call friends.

Well I’ve showed you who my friends are so this who I am..strength, courageous, beautiful, wonderful, supportive, creative, comical, amazing, a blessing, truth, love, life, giving, humility, teacher, student, gentle, bold, special, incredible and irreplaceable.

At least that’s the way I would describe each and every one of you!

So to my friends...I LOVE YOU....til we talk, text, facebook, tweet or see eachother again! XO

By any means necessary....I have a dream...

****re-post, I deleted it by accident...Original post date: January 18, 2011****

I don't think we get it!

Somewhere along the lines we missed the point of it all.  We missed the point of the struggle.  The sting of the pain.  The way the sweat burned our eyes.  The many tears that flowed, and the blood that spewed senselessly from the veins of our predecessors.   We seem to have forgotten the burnt crosses in our yards, the lynching of our babies, and the killing for no reason other than hatred of the beauty of our skin.   We seem to have forgotten the struggle, that really isn't completely over, it's just disguised in various forms.

I watched Malcolm X today.  I movie that I know many people blow off because it's 3 and a half hours long. It's amazing that some of us won't even sit through 3 hours of history. *foodforthought*

It brought tears to my eyes to have a visual representation of what our mothers, fathers, grand mothers, grand fathers, etc went through.  It pulls on that spot in my heart that aches and groans when I think about the past.  When I think about how lucky I am that I was born into a time where blatant racism is somewhat a thing of the past.  But strangely enough I wish I was there to experience the struggle first hand.  A part of me identifies with that time in history more than the age I'm in. 

It's hard to think that the greats like Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Rosa Parks etc walked among us only 45 years ago.  Just 45 years ago we were still fighting for our rights and freedoms. Being told to use the back doors and being chased by dogs on the way to get an education.

Now looking around we have forgotten what it means to be Black, African American, African Canadian, Afro American, Negro, and dare I say it...Nigger.  Not to discredit anything that US President Barack Obama has done...because he has and is accomplishing great things in the position that he's on right now.  But seems like we treat him like an exception; as though the only reason that he got where he did was because of his lineage, not his merit. He has definitely continued the dream we all dream about and has in many ways renewed the faith and hope for a better future.  (Keep in mind this has nothing to do with whether you think he's doing a good job in office....that is not the point of this reference...that's for another blog another day!)

To me it seems as though somewhere along the line the memory of all the hurt, pain, tears, fear, sweat, and blood got shoved to the backs of our minds and we don't even think about how much our past effects our future.  It seems like we somehow treat our roots like they didn't exist....kinda how we straighten our hair(I admit I'm guilty of that one BUT once again....another post for another time) if we can't see it, it doesn't exist. 

In a few days will be Martin Luther King Day and a few weeks we'll celebrate Black History Month.  We'll all wear the T-shirts and shout the slogans and sing it loud 'I'm Black and I'm proud!' but so what???  Come March 1st we go back to disrespecting each other.  Not caring for our brothers and sisters.  We go back to killing each other and the vicious cycle continues!

"It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual." -- Martin Luther King Jr.


.....as always .....comment.....discuss.....let's start a dialog.....peace n blessings.....

Snooki paid more than Toni Morrison?!?!?!?

I hopped on Twitter today only to find that Toni Morrison was trending and naturally I wondered why (hoping that she wasn’t the latest celebrity that people were trying to ‘kill’.)  Then, I saw a tweet that stated that Rutgers University paid Snooki a $32,000 speaker’s fee.  MORE than Nobel Prize and Pulitzer Prize-winning Toni Morrison was paid to speak at commencement.  

HMMM!

I am terribly disturbed by this article; however, I'm not entirely surprised by this ridiculous news.  It's no wonder society is falling apart at the seams  if more value is placed on a speech from a reality 'star' whose celebrity has no merit than words of wisdom from one of the best writers of the modern era. 

It baffles my mind that a UNIVERSITY would want to provide students with advice from Snooki on "hairstyle, fist pumps, as well as the GTL — gym, tanning, laundry — lifestyle," instead of furthering academia and knowledge.   It just goes to show what society finds appropriate....and it certainly isn't intelligence.

“Gregory Kassee, vice president of the association's comedy and movies committee, said the group was looking for a speaker who would appeal to Rutgers students.”  SERIOUSLY?!  What is the appeal?  She hasn’t done anything spectacular.  She didn’t speak on anything that would challenge their intellect and make them think a little harder....she spoke about hair, fist pumps and tanning. 

I feel like I’m an old person living in some kind of time warp....what is the appeal?  I just don’t get it, nor do I want to!

I'm reminded of the phrase "knowledge is power" and so I wonder....if that statement rings true, has this generation lost its power???  Has it given up and succumb to a norm of foolishness and mediocrity? 

I feel like this generation isn't being challenged anymore....and that the proverbial bar keeps getting lowered to accommodate those who refuse to try.  I remember at time (not so long ago) when such outrageous injudiciousness was rejected by society.  Where did we go wrong?  I’m reminded every time I turn on the TV, the radio, or watch a movie that societal norms have shifted in a terrible direction and I yearn to return to a time where things had meaning.  Things made you think about love and life and the purpose of it all.  Things made you feel real emotions you had to deal with not run from and things made you want to go out and make a difference in the world. 

I guess these things are dying....and what we’re left with is a hand full of people who get it; and the masses who don’t and conform to the latest trend whatever that may be.  And if you have to ask what ‘it’ is.....I can’t help you!

So instead of Snooki's ridiculous advice of "Study hard, but party harder."  I'll leave you with some words of wisdom from one of the greatest authors to have graced this planet we call earth...

“A dead language is not only one no longer spoken or written, it is unyielding language content to admire its own paralysis. Like statist language, censored and censoring. Ruthless in its policing duties, it has no desire or purpose other than maintaining the free range of its own narcotic narcissism, its own exclusivity and dominance. However moribund, it is not without effect for it actively thwarts the intellect, stalls conscience, suppresses human potential. Unreceptive to interrogation, it cannot form or tolerate new ideas, shape other thoughts, tell another story, fill baffling silences.”  -- Toni Morrison

Link to the article:
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainment/post/2011/04/rutgers-pays-snooki-more-than-toni-morrison-/1

*****CALLING ALL ACTORS*****

Looking for actors for It's Thursday - a stage play.  It's a traumatic exploration of what comfort has come to mean for those who think they seek independence. Onyx is a woman who wants space to grow and be free, yet demands a place to be safe and comforted. She is a dissimulator, a paradox, a phenomonal expression of stasis and agency. It's Thursday, marries dramatic and poetic forms, crosses styles and genre, to explore where the bonds of the flesh, comfort and pride, are the tropes that trips, women and men alike, toward forward progression.

ROLES:

Tyson (Male, 25-30)

-          A strong yet completely insecure man who dominates his woman.  He needs to be menacing, have a thunderous presence but has a slight tender side.

Eco (Male, 25-30)

-          A sly poetic intelligent gypsy soul who tantalizes women with his words.  He needs to be bold, mysterious, clever but attainable.

Valmont (Female, 28-35)

-          Over confident artsy type who is sexually ambiguous.   She needs to be a lil bougie, poised, and is a “tell it like it is” kinda girl.

     Auditions: TBA

     CONTACT:  Novelette - noveltyproductions1@gmail.com or Zakiya z.a.toby@gmail.com