Up From The Ashes

***This one is dedicated to women who have been abused at the hand of a 'lover'***

I’m broken

A pile of mass soaked in salt ridden droplets

And stained in a crimson hue

Fetally I lay

Cheeks caressing concrete

...How did I get here?...

Gasping for rhythmic breathing

My swollen eyes blink like humming bird wings

But I can’t see the forest for the tears

My black was once beautiful

My blue added torture

My reds now mix with salt

Silent screams summon my will back

But silent screams on deaf ears

Result in deafening silence

Delicately marrying the cool concrete

With the fullness of my back

I roll to see the morning sun peek through a hole in the curtain

...It’s not even 8:30...

Are you still here?

Why would you be?

You’ve already stolen me

Stealing parts from me that

I didn’t even know were up for grabs

Clawed way past my breasts and thighs

To the one thing that I held dear

TRUST

And I trusted that you would treat me like with dignity

And not like slave-time property

Dammit I was your woman!

...But never mind that...

The fluorescents wreak havoc on my pupils

The cool water soothes my wounds

I’m a bag of emotions spilled carelessly on hardwood and linoleum

...Who dares stare at me in this state?!...

A familiar face

But I dunno who it is

Suddenly 2 eyes meet 2 eyes

And the 4 eyes connect dots

That once were lines

And for the first time in a long time

I see.....me?

A me I can’t even begin to recognize

A me that is battered and dejected

Seemingly beyond repair

...I never knew a human lip could get so fat...

Starring through me to me I see

Multi coloured skin atop a skeletal core

That forgot what human life is worth

The corners of lips

Have been turned down for so long

They know my feet more than my eyes

And in that instant I begin to mourn

Because I know the spirited me has been murdered

At the hand of a man

All in the name of LOVE

...It’s the first time I’ve seen a living corpse...

Starring through myself to myself

Is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do

...How did I get here?...

...How did I get here?...

...How did I get here?...

And in that moment I felt the lights intensify

As if 10,000 light bulbs illuminated over my head

OUT....GET THE FUCK OUT!

In that instant one plus one equals one

When the old me took the other me by the shoulders

And reminded me of the me that once was

A me that was goal driven and motivated to succeed

A me that was lively and beautiful from the upper to the core

A me that was alluring and magnetic

...I`ve just seen two funerals in one day...

Self actualization could possibly be the best gift a woman could give herself!

I’ve  burned the ‘memory’ of the other me

Because that was not how I envisioned life to be

And up from those ashes I emerged stronger and finally free

From those ashes new life was born...

And with those ashes I walked through the door.